Today is the 2 month anniversary of my mother's admission to the hospital. 2 months since she was found unresponsive and unconscious in her apartment. 2 months since she was rushed to hospital in an ambulance, in a coma. 2 months since our accelerated journey through dementia began.
So much has happened, and yet so little has also happened in the course of 61 days. From ICU on August 6th dazed and confused, to the general patient recovery floor where she was moody and emotionally unbalanced (ranging from "I want to die" to "Everyone is so lovely here"), to the geriatric rehabilitation unit where she has been for the last 5 weeks. I have diligently visited my mother 5 nights a week (down from 6), and our conversations have been repetitive for the most part, each conversation with a fixation on some aspect (tonight it was how she is yearning to have her hair washed and blow-dried at the salon). I have arranged about 20 video calls with family and friends in Toronto, Vancouver, Japan. She remembers very little of those calls moments afterwards. She only vaguely remembers that I have visited shortly after I leave. And yet, I go back almost nightly because I also know that she waits for my visits, watches the clock on the wall and hopes I'll pass by for some Japanese chit-chat and give her daughterly attention.
Mama has made strides with physical rehabilitation, from not being able to sit up, to doing so with ease. Struggling with a walker with an attendant, to walking independently without equipment. While she lacks stamina, she is almost back to her physical previous self.
Cognitively, there has been a sharp decline, and this is largely due to her fall. She was unconscious when she fell, so she didn't try to soften her fall by bracing herself with her hands. She fell forward, broke her toe in the process, smashed her knee, and smacked her head / face on the hard floor. CT scans showed brain damage. Diagnosis: Alzheimer's disease (which was likely in process previous to the fall - there were definite signs, but accelerated by this unfortunate event). There is about a 15 to 20 year period where my mother's memories are confused, out of order, or completely disappeared. Her short-term memory is completely gone (hence the circular / repetitive conversations). She did a cooking test, where she was asked to prepare a meal in the test kitchen. She failed. As a result, her medical team deemed her unfit to live autonomously, and the realization of her circumstances and her future set in.
Fast forward through the blur of weeks of calls and emails to find a suitable residence for my mother, and by pure luck, a spot opened up at my top choice, which is Seva residence for seniors here in Candiac. With persistence and fortunate timing, my mother's request for residency in Seva's care unit was approved yesterday (Wednesday). She moves tomorrow (Friday). So much left to do, and I am still so very tired. So many lists to make, tasks to tackle, paperwork to complete, and a lease to end back at her former residence (Chartwell). I spent a couple of hours there tonight just looking around her apartment in shock. All the work it took to get her here, to settle her to spend her peaceful senior years in a retirement home. Dashed along with her memory. There is a new future to create, new reality to embrace. Let's call it an adventure and brace ourselves for the ride.
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